Christmas cocoa

Last day of 2014

Happy New Year, all. :) For us it's still 2014 and will be for some hours yet, but 2015 is marching towards us, one time zone at a time.

And yeah, it's just a conceptual abstraction (Jan. 1, 2015 is not different in any qualitative way from Dec. 31, 2014) but we are, as a species, beings who like ritual and ceremony. I've always enjoyed the New Year as a concept. It's so hopeful, the idea of wiping the slate clean and starting over with a fresh year like a blank page of paper.

As I've been doing since 2006, I wrote two posts over at my realname journal, setting goals for 2015 and looking back on how I did with my 2014 goals. This was one of my less successful creative years, at least in terms of doing any of the things I said I was going to do. Possibly in compensation, I'm going for WILD OPTIMISM with my 2015 goals. We shall see how that works out.

I used to do fannish creative roundups for awhile, but stopped doing that once I started posting everything to AO3. So, my 2014 fic is over on AO3. (I also just posted a scrap of fluff from the psychic Neal AU that I wrote last summer but never posted anywhere public, for completeness's sake.)

Nearly everything I wrote this year was for White Collar or Captain America. Generally I'm a sort of serial fannish monogamist, and I'm not sure if I've had this sort of thing happen before, where I started the year in one fandom, then fell into a hardcore obsession with something else (my sudden Captain America fixation is definitely the hardest I've fallen for something new since I first got into White Collar back in whenever that was) and then fell back into the other one at the end of the year. Right now, White Collar has wrapped up (in a way I wasn't totally happy with) and I seem to be sliding back Avengers-wards again, at least based on my fic-reading habits. Honestly, the only thing that's stopped me from writing more Avengers-based fic is a) I want to write about movieverse Steve and Bucky, but b) I'm pretty thoroughly burned out on the entire genre of post-movie, Bucky-comes-in-from-the-cold fics (except when a rare special one comes along, or when there's a new installment in a series I'm already following) and I feel like I've written about as many variations on that as I feel like writing. I'm struggling to come up with other ideas that I really want to write. (Though I DO need to finish the "Sam and Bucky in the wilderness" one. The fourth and last chapter is mostly written! I'm not sure why I've been faffing around instead.)

Also, my h/c bingo card is down to just a few prompts. I've decided not to claim the bingos I've already made, but instead to try for a blackout during the amnesty period. Because I'm SO CLOSE! And I've never made a blackout before. It would be nice to have that as an achievement.

Personally, this year had a lot of ups and downs. I attended a dear friend's wedding and saw quite a lot of my family, as well as getting to hang out with fannish friends I haven't seen in years, which was absolutely wonderful. On the down side, one of the reasons why I saw a lot of my family was because my grandmother nearly died (she's doing fine now), and the health issue that came uncomfortably close to killing me in 2013 made a temporary comeback, though I think we've got it under control now. I also think I've been drinking too much -- not enough that I feel it's enough to be a matter of concern, but since alcoholism does run in my family, I think my life would be better and healthier if I start treating alcohol as a special sometimes treat in 2015, instead of something I have regularly three or four nights a week. I can also tell I'm skirting around the edges of depression, by my lack of willpower and inability to accomplish anything over the last couple of months; it took me years to figure out depression is what causes that, but it definitely is what causes that (for me), so I have some coping strategies to put into effect for that as well.

Hmmm, and that's about it for 2014! I look forward to spending 2015 with all of you, the old friends I've known for ages and the new friends I've just made this year. Here's hoping 2015 will be a great year for all of you.

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Didn't you get a book published? Less successful than what? :P

Happy New Year!
Less successful than I wanted it to be! But ha, yes, that is a good point. :) It's kind of funny how my goals have recalibrated over the years; back in, say, 2009 that alone would've had me over the moon, and now I feel like I'm not living up to my full potential. :P

But yeah, good point. :)
I'm glad your grandmother is doing well now, and that you're doing better.

Depression is the toughest thing: you want to pull yourself out of it, but you can't, and then sometimes you stop wanting even that. . . . I'm very lucky that I'm one of those people for whom the newer medications work really well. At least you recognize it: that's a big part of the battle. Whenever I start sliding back towards it, I have to fight to remember that it's depression, not me just screwing everything up. My slides don't go very far nowadays, though, for which I feel blessed.

Your fandoms have gone along with mine surprisingly well. I was into Sherlock and came out of that very hard when the actual show did things I hated (things that make White Collar's ending look like a total triumph), so I had an additional fandom that you weren't in (which is sad, because I love what you write in our shared fandoms!) but you were writing Steve and Bucky when I wanted to read Steve and Bucky, and then moved back to WC just when I wanted more WC! And I will keep egging you on in both.
Yeah; aside from a severe bout of depression in college, my own depression symptoms are mild and easily confused for other things (irritability, difficulty concentrating, sleeping a lot or not much at all), to the point where it took me a long time to realize that a) it actually is depression, and b) treating it as such really helps. ffffff. Brains.

And yay for fandom compatibility! I guess it's not too much of a mystery that we both fell back into White Collar when we did, since my own fannish cycle over the course of the year (and probably yours as well) was driven by the presence of new canon, and there were new episodes at the end of the year. Still, it's nice that our fannish swings matched to that extent.

I doubt if I'd ever get fannish about Sherlock, alas. :( But maybe whatever fandom I move into after these will be a shared one as well!
At this point, I'd tell you to avoid Sherlock fandom. I was really surprised that I got sucked in, but it was Martin Freeman's John Watson that did it. But you know how you talked about Jeff Eastin breaking the contract with the viewers? Sherlock broke the contract and then set it on fire and danced on the pieces. I felt so betrayed! And it was a bit silly to feel betrayed by a show that frankly was never very well written, but I loved it in spite of its flaws, and then suddenly it manifested a much worse batch of flaws. . . .

But maybe whatever fandom I move into after these will be a shared one as well!
Let us hope so!
Though it occurs to me now that I might have entered White Collar fandom as much as I did because of your fic, so maybe it's not entirely coincidence or even similar tastes, but also because you made the fandom very appealing to me.
I hope 2015 is a good year for you! :D

Glad that your grandma is better now, though sorry to hear the depression is kicking in again *hugs* Brains can be horrible sometimes *more hugs*
Happy New Year! I've really enjoyed getting to talk to you about all things Cap this year (Buckyyyyy), and reading your fic (esp the wilderness one! I'm dying to find out what happens XD). I hope the year ahead of you is a wonderful one. :)
Yayyyyy, all the Bucky! :) I hope you have a great year too -- and finishing up that fic is definitely on my January to-do list!